The summer is long and sometimes the news is slow, even in the world of weed. So, when I came across an article about Mike Tyson telling Eben Britton and Jim Jones that he smokes $40,000 worth of weed a month on his podcast, I actually stopped to ask myself, “How would I spend that much on weed? Could I even spend that much?”
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It's probably a boring answer. So then I thought, “How would my co-workers spend $40,000 worth of weed in a month?” I asked them. Here is what they said:
I'd be constantly flush with diamonds, rosin, exotic shelf, and the dankest edibles. Every weekend, I'd have a private 420 chef cook me a five-course, French fusion meal with two desserts. My bath would have bombs. My skin would be slathered in activated creams, and I'd be wearing hemp all the time. Hemp couture.
Can I afford all that with $40,000 a month?
I feel a little selfish right now, I gotta admit. I should add, the dinner would be for all my friends and I would share the wealth left and right!
Mmm, I could probably spend $40,000 a month on rosin. I would buy nothing but Rosin Brothers, 710 Labs, All Greens Extracts, Green Dot. I'd buy gigantic Honey Pot sizes that are as big as they would possibly sell, 28 grams if they have 'em. At $130 a gram, that is $3,640 alone. I would fill a fridge with every delicious rosin I found. I would buy a giant THCA diamond and turn it into a ring. I would buy a rosin press and be the Santa Claus of rosin.
I would stock up on 99.99% THCA Crystalline from Guild Extracts, any 710 Labs flower and Live Rosin, Ahti Ice Wax, True Hash Co. 6-Star Hash, Harvest Moon flower and Live Resin, Exclusive Melts BHO, and, of course, some Mothership rigs and bongs to consume it all. I also wouldn't mind getting to smoke out of a Banjo Glass Boba Fett helmet at least once before I leave this planet.
Nic, is this for content? I need to know if I'm speaking on the record here.
I will need to think on this. Most of my ideas involve either building a weed robot — like Marc Maron's drug robot from “GLOW” — a stocked weed vending machine and pantry, or hotboxing a botanical garden with different strains for different exhibits.
I'd probably spend a chunk of it collecting a few custom glass pieces — bongs, dab rigs, and some funky pipes. With $40,000 for a month, it'd be great to start collecting some dope functional art from artists whose work I've admired from afar. I'd also have no excuse not to stock my pad with all the smoking essentials — crutches, rolling papers, butane, cleaning supplies, maybe some CBD for my cats ('cause why not?), etc.
The rest I'd spend on an even split between top-shelf flower and juicy jars of sticky sauce and diamonds. I'm also assuming I'd end up with a month's supply robust enough to spread the wealth of weed around to friends, family, hell, even the most casual acquaintances. Let's get the world high!
Tell us how you'd spend your $40,000.
Feature illustration by Allena Braithwaite/Weedmaps